About five minutes ago, I got out of the shower. About twenty minutes ago, I got into the shower full and baked, which was a pretty cool combination because I thought of myself as a pink manatee the moment I entered. (My shower curtain is pink and it turns the whole room pink.) I do much of my thinking in the shower, and I was thinking a lot about an in-depth conversation my roommate and I had about confidence, and being an actor. And I remembered that I had talked about secretly wanting to become a casting director.
I've always harbored a secret desire to become a casting director because let's face it, everyone would want the commercial/tv show/film to reflect the characters that they saw in their head when they read the script. I always see the aformentioned television and I think, 'Wow I could have found someone way better to read those lines.' Bottom line is I think I'd be good at the job. Plus I have, I think, particularly good intuition about people, even if they're acting.
Anyway, so I'm in the shower, scrubbin my tush, thinking about this idea of becoming a casting director, and maybe interning with a casting director when I move to the big L.A. (it's like a bad word I guess; people don't really ever say it without spelling it out instead). Then, all of a sudden, a tragic reality strikes me like lightning::
what if ... the reason... I want to become a casting director.... .. ... is so that people will have to suck up to me?
.... .... ... . . ... . ... . . . . ...... what if that's all I've ever wanted to accomplish by being an actor, TOO ! ? ... . . . !!