About five minutes ago, I got out of the shower. About twenty minutes ago, I got into the shower full and baked, which was a pretty cool combination because I thought of myself as a pink manatee the moment I entered. (My shower curtain is pink and it turns the whole room pink.) I do much of my thinking in the shower, and I was thinking a lot about an in-depth conversation my roommate and I had about confidence, and being an actor. And I remembered that I had talked about secretly wanting to become a casting director.
I've always harbored a secret desire to become a casting director because let's face it, everyone would want the commercial/tv show/film to reflect the characters that they saw in their head when they read the script. I always see the aformentioned television and I think, 'Wow I could have found someone way better to read those lines.' Bottom line is I think I'd be good at the job. Plus I have, I think, particularly good intuition about people, even if they're acting.
Anyway, so I'm in the shower, scrubbin my tush, thinking about this idea of becoming a casting director, and maybe interning with a casting director when I move to the big L.A. (it's like a bad word I guess; people don't really ever say it without spelling it out instead). Then, all of a sudden, a tragic reality strikes me like lightning::
what if ... the reason... I want to become a casting director.... .. ... is so that people will have to suck up to me?
.... .... ... . . ... . ... . . . . ...... what if that's all I've ever wanted to accomplish by being an actor, TOO ! ? ... . . . !!
... . . ... . ... Well.
The thought pretty much stalled there, because not only could I honestly not tell myself that I will love the day when someone finally has to suck up to me, but also despite my intense satiation (my stomach was so full of fries and ice cream), I got distracted by thinking about a good imaginary veggie benedict, complete with asparagus, mushrooms, tomatoes, artichokes, olives maybe, and hollandaise... lots and lots of hollandaise... with some sort of potatoes, probably those cute little cubes, mmmmm...
... And once I lost the thought, I immediately wanted to make a blog post.
Well, stopping at me questioning my own life motives and ending on a cliffhanger would be lame. So I thought some more for some point, some reason to write this blog post, and by golly, the people who may or may not be reading this who have wondered what the hell is going on up until this point will FINALLY realize!!!!!
This one time, I was in a play. It was for the CU Fringe Festival, and it was called The Role of Della, by John Wooten. If you're really into this story up until this point you can read the beginning of the script here, but I'm gonna tell you about it right now so there's really no point unless of course you want to do the play which by all means, you should definitely do it. So this girl comes in to audition for a play, she's "a little early." And the woman who is sitting behind the desk proceeds to drag her through an incredibly ludicrous and wild audition, directing her to act in the most ridiculous situations, and making her literally jump through hoops. But it turns out - ok I'm gonna ruin the ending but I feel like it's important! - after the girl auditioning leaves, another woman enters and introduces herself as the director. Ha- did you get it?! The audience finds out that the woman running the audition for that poor/helpless/stupid other girl was actually also there to audition, and there earlier than the other one. She wasn't the actual director, she was just playing a casting director!
The moral of the story is that I don't want to be the casting director. I want to be the actor playing the casting director (which I did, btw, and it was brilliant of course). And I want to be a damn actor! More than anything in the world.
Which is why, and congratulations for making it to this point, I'm going to sort-of-under-the-radar advertise myself as an actor!
[Editor's Note:] Okay initially, I was going to actually @ this casting director on twitter that I used to follow but apparently she doesn't have a twitter anymore. And since that was my Plan A and all actors and ladies know that it's always good to have a Plan B, I quickly made - DRUMROLL PLEASE - !!! :
MY "FIRST" YOUTUBE VIDEO !!!!!
(This is a quasi-lie. I made another youtube video a few posts ago. BUT! This one actually has me in it. Which I've never done before. Sort-of, which you'll see if you watch it.)
Anyway, my Plan B is to instead, tell you about why I'm naked right now.
It's basically like a Youtube demo reel.
If you're gonna be an internet sensation, you're eventually gonna have to make a Youtube video.
Actually, it's just if you're gonna eventually gonna need to get some money from strangers for your student loans.
Please, feel free to take this video as a sincere thank you to those of you who donated to my student loan fund. You're the only thing keeping me off the streets and out of the laps of dirty pedophiles! xo
P.S. The other day (month), a stranger came up to me and said, "You probably get this all the time, but you know who you look like? It's only from the eyes up, the eyes up... Oh and a little bit in the mouth... Yes, you, you look just like a young Barbra Streisand."
And the gay man inside me is ready to die now. (Plus I've got a great Halloween costume idea!)
No comments:
Post a Comment