30-Day Blogbuster Challenge

I've been bad. You know it, I definitely know it, it's just a fact that I've been trying to fight for a while now - but I'm coming to terms with it: I haven't posted in forever.

I made excuses - 'I have nothing to write about', that was the first one. Then I up and moved across the country, witnessed a thousand different life changes, and it was 'I have too much to write about' - I didn't know where to start, so I put it off, wondering how I could avoid a 2,000-word update, and I didn't even want this blog to be a bunch of bullshit about my life anyway - I was ashamed that that's how it's been turning out.

I make excuses for myself every single minute of every day. "I haven't started my acting career because <insert excuse here>." "I don't have enough money," "I don't have enough time," "I don't know enough people," "I don't have enough experience" ... When am I going to have enough of anything? I told myself that if I waited to move until I had enough money and resources, I was never going to do it. So, I just did it. I mustered up every last bit of vivacity I could, and I packed my whittled-down belongings and my little dog Toto into my air-conditioningless Saturn and I drove my ass for 20 hours across the mountains and the desert and arrived in the City of Angeles, Los Angeles, California, dripping in sweat and high on Redbull.




I thought things were going to be different when I got here. I thought that since I managed to find the motivation to get here, to finally DO something instead of sitting around feeling sorry for myself, that I would magically have all the motivation in the world to finally be a working actor, go to the beach, get my ass out of bed in the morning... Hey, maybe I'd even keep my blog updated.

But now I've been here for three months, and all I have to show for it is a job, an (admittedly great) apartment on the Westside, and a smoking habit so fierce it puts Don Draper to shame.


I'm not sure why, but I lack some serious self-motivation. And the only way I'm going to be able to see through all the smoke is to make some changes. I've known this all along. The problem is, I have a hard time focusing on the little things. I'm a big-picture person, so it's difficult for me when I can't make one big huge grandiose gesture that's going to fix all of my problems. I want to tell myself "Whitney - DO something!" But the somethings have all piled up to the point where I'm overwhelmed by them all - I can't seem to do ANYTHING.

So I'm trying a new approach - small steps. Little bitty goals that I set up for myself. And it starts right here, with (k)no(w) subject.

For the next 30 days, I'm going to make a post every day. Seems crazy/impossible for me, right? I'm gonna do it. I'm going to allow myself permission to make micro-posts if I want to, maybe just a link or an image, or if I have time I'll make a more substantial post. Just SOMETHING, every day, for 30 days. I'm hoping to create a habit here. Plus, giving myself a short-term, simple daily goal will hopefully motivate me in other areas of my life that need to have their butts kicked into gear.

...Phew! I already feel better, getting my goal written down. And now you, the metaphorical you, the publicity of the internet, can hold me accountable. I'm super excited to start !!

As a kick-off, and an enthusiastic motivator, I'm going to write 10 short facts about the last 3 months.

1. I live in Los Angeles, California! Like, my address, if you were to send me snail mail, would be Los Angeles, CA !!!!
2. It's November 5 and it's bright, sunny, and 63 degrees at my apartment. I'm still not used to the obvious lack of winter here. It was "cold" yesterday, and I saw a woman walking her dog in a parka, hood up, and a pair of calf-length leggings and mule slippers - no socks.
3. #1 on the list of differences between Colorado and California: number of donut shops. I can't think of a single one in Colorado... but there are as many here as there are Starbucks.
4. Katy Perry has come out with lots of new songs since I last blogged about her. They're all terrible.
5. I saw a snail on a plant yesterday! I don't think I've ever seen a snail in the wild before.
6. All anyone ever talks about here is traffic. It's always terrible - GET OVER IT! I'm trying to figure out a way to make a real connection with people, instead of talking about this traffic bullshit. I'll get back to you.
7. Thank god for all of the film and TV industry advertising in this city. If it wasn't for all the billboards, I would have never found out about 2 Broke Girls!
8. I don't have a television. I like watching everything online, but there are 2 drawbacks: 1) I feel pretty guilty about it, because I'm hoping to get into this industry and people aren't making money from all of my Hulu-ing  2) I can't do my favorite thing while watching tv, which is being on my computer.
9. In L.A. you can only see the brightest stars in the sky. I think it's a metaphor for the city itself - sure, there are ones who shine super bright, but all the other stars are still there- you just can't see them. But the city and the people in it are ever-changing, just like the universe, so the stars you see tonight might not be the ones you see tomorrow...  
10. I'm not sure I feel like L.A. is quite home yet, but the one thing that makes it feel the most like home is that everyone here is either a cynical optimist, or an optimistic cynic. I'm the first one. It's nice to be surrounded by my people ;-)